Serves me right for getting all excited about being on TV. Well, not exactly on TV, but in an online segment that was still videoed and produced by super nice, bona fide TV people. Alas, I’m probably confusing you before we even get to the point, which is an unfortunate habit for windbags like me who are missing the concise gene.
So let’s back up, and I’ll start from the beginning:
A few months ago a producer from Today.com (the online version of The Today Show) contacted me to ask if they could come to Tennessee and spend a full day filming Missy and me for a story celebrating National Adoption Month, which is in November. Of course I was deeply honored and said yes immediately, thinking what an incredible thing, that God had given us favor with a secular media conglomerate so we could testify to His faithfulness with an even wider audience!
It wasn’t until later that my elation bubble deflated a tad when I remembered that I’m in a fluffy season, and it’s hard to make stretchy pants look cool on camera. “Oh well,” I reasoned, “Surely, I can lose ten pounds before they film us if I slow down on the chips and guacamole. Plus, if I double Spanx and wear all black I’ll probably be able to conceal most of my wobbly bits.” What didn’t occur to me during this pre-filming, outfit-planning stage was the vital importance of a good, strong, supportive bra. And I didn’t realize what folly that was until the day after the video was released recently, and I watched it for the first time on a big screen at Passion City Church (Louie and Shelley Giglio’s church in Atlanta) with four thousand other folks.
Before I disclose the scene that has undoubtedly scarred millions of viewers, I want to emphasize that the awesome husband and wife production team who shot our story for Today.com did an awesome job highlighting the redemptive nature of adoption, as well as the theme of healing in our particular story. They didn’t know I’d choose to wear a flimsy, threadbare brassiere during filming because I foolishly went for comfort over control. Nor could they possibly have known that I’d choose to do “Running Man”—the only dance move in my middle-aged, rhythm-challenged repertoire—while Missy and I were goofing off in the living room. Therefore, they had no idea my “girls” would bounce from collarbone to waist during that regrettable dance scene.
However, if I ever meet the editor who chose to put that part in slow motion, I’m going to kick him in the shins. Because let me tell you, seeing your less-than-perky lady parts on a twenty-foot screen is bad enough, but seeing them rebound a long distance with shocking elasticity in slow motion on a huge screen is just flat scary. Our mamas were right y’all, unmentionables matter. So if you have the blessing of being with yours this holiday season give her a hug and thank her for that advice, among all the other wisdom pearls she surely dropped during your eye-rolling teenage years.
Here’s hoping your Advent is a lovely, God-came-near (and thankfully I wore the right brassiere) time of year.
Warmest Regards and Reddest of Faces,
“God places the lonely in families; he sets the prisoners free and gives them joy.” Psalm 68:6a (NLT)
P.S. If you want to take a look at the video that inspired me to buy three new and extremely supportive bounce-tamers during an early Black Friday sale last week, watch the Today.com video here.